Ben Winkler - Relationship Coach For Conscious Single Women!

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www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Conscious Women!
‘Are you ready to create Sizzle and Security in Your Relationship?’
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Do we accept loneliness?

No matter how many people love us, care for us, we will at our true core always be alone, an individual! No one can ever truly understand us as we don’t even truly know ourselves! Only when we are open to exploration, evolution through vulnerability can take place. Vulnerability not in a sense of getting hurt but to really be at our core and trust that simply being who we are is just fine. We are great already as we are, yet we’re trying daily to be someone else! Influenced by society, the media etc…the phrase ‘why not be yourself, everyone else is already taken’ comes to mind!
At the same time this estrangement can make us feel really lonely yet the only way to interact and ‘get somewhere’ emotionally is by being bare, all else would be a charade and who are we really kidding but ourselves?
So stop over analyzing it to death when someone says ‘I love you’ and simply take it in with a smile, inside and out!
This might be frightening at first but by accepting this core loneliness we can get a glimpse of an idea of what love might be and giving us an idea why we simply can’t be without love - we’d perish in darkness!

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Conscious Women!
‘Are you ready to create Sizzle and Security in Your Relationship?’
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Are you preventing yourself from attracting LOVE & PASSION?

…about sizzle & security in your relationship:

No matter if your biological clock is ticking louder than Big Ben in London or you hear your inner gremlin tell you you’re ‘done’, might as well settle and get used to being single for the rest of your days. You don’t want to come across as desperate but desire drives you forward to let your radiance and natural femininity shine though, welcoming your desires and acknowledging them!

I feel compassion with whatever your situation or belief might be and want to show you that I’d like to help you re-evaluate your beliefs through a couple of simple questions here:

1. ‘All men are…’

…and yes, there are lots of jerks out there, but besides the underlying reason for their status even they would be mating material if their most basic needs (to begin with) were met!
Stop stereo typing, think of it the other way round, what might men say about women? Does that mean you are ‘that’? Of course not!
What you feel and tell yourself is what you subconsciously send out through your behavior and men are running for the hills a s a result!
Start thinking of what you admire in a man, even better yet who do you think of that would fit those characteristics? The more you steer your mindset and thoughts toward that direction the more you’ll start to ‘attract’, rather than acting as a ‘man-repellent!’

2. ‘Neediness’

Are you trying to hard to ‘get’ a man ‘NOW?’ There’s no such thing as a relationship emergency! Or would you rather miss the right one when he comes along cause you tied yourself up with Mr. ‘What was I thinking?’
Tap into your power, your female qualities start attracting like honey attracts bees! Relax! A relaxed, confident woman is ohhh so attractive!

3. ‘Constant ‘Self Critique’

Start by looking in the mirror, winking at yourself! My-oh-my are you ever gorgeous! Only one of you on this planet! Amazing, isn’t it? Also amazing that we cannot seem to be able to value and appreciate ourselves, ever! Are you feeling ‘hot’ when you critizice youself? I bet you don’t! The energy you feel is again, wha tyou’re snding out! Guys might not be able to put their finger onto what it is exactly but that first conversation is gonna be ‘really’ brief with no hope for repeat! So instead glow and shine and start to smile as you already know deep down that this works! Rmemeber the bees?

4. You don’t ‘Relax’

Are you packing your week full to the limits and end up totally strained prior to the weekend? You’ll need the entire weekend solely to recover instead of having a ball!
Develop a love affair with 2- activities you really like! Busy does not mean better quality of life, the opposite!
Start putting your needs first, learn to relax and develop healthy cheerleaders that support you in just ‘being YOU!’

5. Your ‘Femininity’ inside & out

So, you are not good enough, self doubt, looking at the numbers on your birth certificate…Yay, I say, reason to celebrate all the little experiences that shaped you into being able to think for yourself – or are you following mainstream a tat too much for your own good? Dump those ‘model’ magazines for a little while, give yourself a break! You really want to look like them and not have a life?
Be, let your desires speak and tap into your emotions! You are fabulous the way you are! Stop trying to be someone else!
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!…now go and arm yourself with that smile that is contagious and makes you giggle!

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Conscious Women!
‘Are you ready to create Sizzle and Security in Your Relationship?’
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Radiate and tap into your true essence…

Guys are more sensitive than you think! And yes, we cry, too! (at least once a week, I hope) Are you giving a guy what he’s not finding anywhere else? He’s not looking for a clone of himself so radiate who you truly are and let polarity play full out! Your radiance, beauty, sensuality, sensitivity, warmth, sexiness, playfulness…Indulge and see what response ensues

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Conscious Women!
‘Are you ready to create Sizzle and Security in Your Relationship?’
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Nature Boy …performed by Bowie or Lisa Ekdahl

There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise
Was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings
This he said to me
“The greatest thing
You’ll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return”

Click Here!

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Women over 40!
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

I’d Rather Be Single Than Settle!

by David Steele

To get what you really want, you must say “No” to what you don’t
want. Simple, but not easy.

I’ve settled for less than I really wanted many times in my life,
and each time my awareness of just how much of myself I gave
up to accept that “OK” job, buy that “OK” car, enter that “OK”
relationship that was less than I really wanted came much later,
when it was too late to do much about it.

Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, what could I have done
differently? Honestly, probably nothing. I had lessons I needed
to learn, a journey I was destined to take that led me to find the
love of my life and the life that I love.

What did I learn from making all those choices that seemed
right at the time? Here’s a few things-

Every choice has long-term consequences that are
predictable if you’re paying attention

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is

I listen to my fears and doubts way too much

My choices and results are a direct reflection of how
worthy I feel and how well I’m taking care of myself

When I defend against what others say about me,
they’re always right and I’m always wrong (damn!)

Life doesn’t work the way you want, need or expect,
it works the way it works

Is it possible to catch myself settling before it’s too late?
Yes, I just have to listen to the garbage I tell myself; such as-

I don’t want to be alone

I REALLY want a relationship

I’m tired of looking, I might as well choose this one

I won’t find anything/anyone better

I’d rather have this now than risk nothing later

I don’t deserve true happiness

80% is good enough
Examining these statements now it’s easy to see they’re all FALSE.
Looking back, I knew I was telling myself these things, but my
awareness was dim enough, and my self-esteem low enough that
I allowed them to dictate my choices.

What could I have done differently? Simple. Require 100% and
not settle for less.

All the times I talked myself into accepting 80% prevented me from
finding and experiencing 100%. This hit home for me when I broke
up an 80% relationship and then met the woman I was destined to
marry just a few months later. It’s like I finally passed a cosmic
test of some kind.

Five years after writing the book Conscious Dating: Finding the Love
of Your Life in Today’s World and two years after finally finding my
soul mate, the biggest secret to finding true love that I’ve learned
is to love myself enough to fiercely go after 100% of what I really
want and truly believe that it’s possible.

Fiercely believe “I deserve to love and be loved.”

Fiercely believe “Seek and ye shall find.”

Fiercely believe “Build it, and they will come.”

And, fiercely believe “I’d rather be single than settle!”

David Steele, MA, LMFT is the founder of Relationship Coaching Institute
and author of the ground-breaking book for singles Conscious Dating:
Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World, now in it’s second edition.

For more information about David’s personal conscious dating journey
visit www.darleneanddavid.com For free access to his audio program
Conscious Dating for Relationship Success and other free resources
for conscious singles visit www.joinconsciousdating.com

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Women over 40!
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Text messaging is a perfectly acceptable form of communication if simple rules of etiquette are followed. A text message is acceptable when the message delivered is a simple sentence/question and can be answered in a sentence or two and does not leave the recipient asking themselves WTH…………..?

Acceptable text messages:

Good morning!
How are you?
Have a great day!
Had a great time last night. Thanks!
Miss you!
Can we meet for lunch?
Smile. It’s Friday!!!!
Can you pick up a gallon of milk on your way home?
Love you!

These messages have a clear meaning and do not require the recipient to “mind read”. If the text was in the form of a question, it should only require a short reply.

The following are examples of less acceptable text messages:

I cannot see you tonight.
Your dog was hit by a car.
I got fired today!
I think we should see other people.
I crashed my car and I am in the hospital.
I think your mother is having an affair!
I have an incurable disease.
The cat is on fire!
I want a divorce.

The messages above should not be sent as a text as they leave the recipient asking themselves questions. The messages do not contain any further information and cannot be answered in a short reply. These messages should be given in the form of phone call, no matter how uncomfortable/unpleasant the subject may be. And don’t forget, the tone of your text message may be misunderstood as your voice cannot be heard!

Sheryl Brown

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Women over 40!
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Intimacy Tip #10 (Day 10 of 10)

Commitment

We are not that good at honoring our relationship commitments in the U.S., but studies by researchers such as psychologist Ximena Arriaga of Purdue University suggest that commitment is an essential element in building love. People whose commitments are shaky interpret their partner’s behavior more negatively, for one thing, and that can be deadly over time. Covenant marriage - currently a legal option in Arizona only, Arkansas and Louisiana - is a new kind of marriage (emerging from the evangelical Christian movement) involving a very stron commitment: couple agree to premarital counseling and limit grounds for divorce. Conventional marriage in America can be abandoned easily, even without specific legal cause (the so-called no-fault divorce).

by Robert Epstein

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Women over 40!
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Intimacy Tip #9 (Day 9 of 10)

Self-disclosure

Research by Aron, Sprecher and others indicates that people tend to bond when they share secrets with each other. Once again, the key here i allowing oneself to be vulnerable!

Robert Epstein

Tomorrow’s tip:

‘Commitment’

www.BenWinkler.com
Dating & Relationship Coaching for Women over 40!
Visit our Facebook fan page, and for Women ONLY forum!

Intimacy Tip #8 (Day 8 of 10)

Touch & Sexuality

The simplest touch can produce warm, positive feelings, and a back rub can work wonders. Even getting very near someone without actually touching can have an effect. Studies by social psychologist Susan Sprecher of Illinois University, among others, also show that sexuality can make people feel closer emotionally, especially for women. There is danger here, however: confusing sexual attraction with feelings of love. You cannot love someone without knowing him or he. and attraction blinds people to important characteristics of their partner.

Robert Epstein

Tomorrow’s tip:

‘Self-disclosure’